Thursday, February 23, 2017

Living Is Hard

Were there times when you just wanted to climb up your bed, engulf yourself within the blanket, making sure there wasn't a single opening that would bring in the air from outside and get lost in thoughts of what's happening around. Pretty much every human would have experienced this feeling. But those happened when you were young. A sense of instability in our lives at that age occur when we aren't given the option to choose our own toppings for our Ice Cream too. Times now are a bit more different.

The people we live around are all in a state of resentment. With what? That's classified. Thinking of solutions in their tiny little brain, moping over spilt oil but most often the resentment is because they couldn't go back to those old days when hiding beneath sheets solved great crisis. I wonder of people will feel better if they did that. Let's just say that the medical team aren't any helpful when it comes to this. People thank 'shrinks' for helping them out and later on rely on an ice cream for losing money to them. They really are very expensive.

Solution lies within religion, meditation and peace said another person. Well, who am I kidding, 8 hour work shift, excluding the intervals, lunchtime and short breathers alone constitute a whopping 12 to 13 hour. Let' just say that God is putting me up to a test and I'm miserably failing in that. I do believe that there is peace in that though.

At the end of the day, that precious sleep is what I crave for. Me alone in my bedsheet. The Air out is cold and within the lengths of my bedsheet  everything is warm. A sense of home is only established when I go in. I once had that, not long back but I had that peace of mind.

And now there are two within the same bedsheet and now do I realize why men around put up a brave face despite anger, hatred, guilt and many such negative expressions buried deep within. It is for them.  

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Me, Noah. Her, Allie.

Have you ever had a moment when your brain just goes blank. Nothing stay in your head, no worries, no pain, no requests, no conditions, nothing at all. All you can see is what's in front of you. Achieving that peace of mind is almost impossible. Well, neither did I achieve that. But it is safe to say that I experienced something much more better than that.

A couch, my wife resting her head on my shoulder, watching the notebook on TV with nothing to disturb us. To all the men married, this is something you should never miss. The amazing effect on what the movie has on you. The breath you two take when the movie silences and her tears pricking your shoulder when she weeps at sad moments, everything is just amazing. I actually felt something that made my heart so warm.

A particular scene when Noah takes Allie through those swans and ducks on his little raft, the scenery and the emotions displayed are sheer perfect. Every little dimension through which the movie was shown was spectacular.

The best thing of it all is the fact that the one you love is beside you holding your hand tight through which he gets the assurance that she is the one.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Mistakes, Lessons and the other Lessons.

The hard part is now over. Well, a part of the hard part is over. I've been dreaming a lot about my past. My childhood days, where I usually get beaten up not by people of my same age but my mother. Wow, even thinking of it hurts. As you browse through my earlier blogs, you would find that my mother really went to great extent when I had to be taught a lesson. The egg story, was a jaw dropper for many. And now that I have been remembering few things, I also recall the lessons I actually learnt from them.

For example lets take the egg story:

For people who are new to this, this is how the incident took place.

1) Mom asks me to buy a dozen eggs and return home.

2) On the way I accidentally crack an egg.

3) She gets furious and breaks all eggs right beside my feet (inside the house) and asks me to clean the entire thing.

FYI: Egg stench is almost impossible to remove.

So, that was the story. The lesson intended to learn was to never break eggs. The logical lesson that implied her actions was to avoid accidents. For the love of God, they are called 'accidents' for a purpose. If it's meant to happen it is going to happen.

What did I actually learnt? All I learnt was to replace the broken egg with others. And when someone asks me to buy eggs, hold eggs and such delicate stuff, I plainly just ignore it.

I just wish to be a parent that actually doesn't do such stupid stuff. Besides, eggs are damn pricey these days.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

God Hates Us All

How could a man possibly answer for being a complete ridiculous d***? Like the other day, I asked my wife what will happen if a Husky and Pomeranian had an intercourse. The funny thing Is that there actually was an answer for it. The question I asked was a complete d***ish question, but the beauty is even these d***ish questions have answers.

The title to this post was actually inspired from the infamous TV series Californication. The more I thought about this title, the more I realize how true that is. God doesn't give a shit about second chances. He just wants to see the fallen guy burn to death. Must be an adrenalin thing for him/her/it.

I Asif Dash, am a very bad bad person. When I say God Hates Us all, I mean it. Not because he let me live to see my fate and how it led to my death, but how he on that process ruined lives of many good people. Damn man, if you knew that I really was going to do these things why not take me long before everything.

Shit. It's like I always say, devil isn't something that looks scary with weird faces, whereas it is something that is within us. It haunts you not from outside but from inside. That's what everything is about. God just hated everyone so much that he wants scumbags like me ruin lives of everyone.

If there really is going to be a judgement day, God is going to be the most questionable of all. He will be questioned for bringing me in, for not taking me long before I ruined lives.

Beside me - teary - hope lost - unanswered questions. That's what people get when they are with me. Just one thing. Either I end it, or live longer to see her die bit by bit. You say the word.

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

A Foot Away

A heavy heart, moist eyes
Not a blink, neither a word
Something aches, something cries.
A wound that ceases to be cured.

There you lay, not a foot ahead.
Here I beg for it not to leave.
It's soothing, for I don't know the thread;
that buries the pain that I receive.

Yet tears flow, and I don't know why.
I smile and in return she does.
She whimpers, not a cry.
I heave, I smile and then I cuss.

I cuss, for the feet in between.
I cuss for the meaningless tears.
I cuss for being helpless and not seen.
Not seen, by what the world fears.

I could feel her tears over my cheek,
The pulse, the thoughts within.
It aches more, and a hope so bleak
keeps craving for more, a sin.

A sin, to what the world believes.
A sin, to what the Preachers teach.
To hell with all, to hell with beliefs.
She is stuck, to me like a leech.

And I to her, with nothing less.
I keep dreaming, yet a foot away she lies.
I smile again despite the mess.
And again she whimpers, not loud cries.

A foot away and I smile as she sees.
She smiles in return, yet tears flow.
A thousand words spoken, skies to trees.
So silent they were, of nothing the world will know.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

To The One I Love

Love has always been a mystery to many. Love has many a times also been a misery. To me, this world has been so tiny,
Faulty people and lives of treachery.

The eye opens not by choice,
The eye opens neither by force.
There comes a hearing, there comes a voice,
And then the it rises and no more its close.

The hearing is you, the relief of pain.
No more its treachery, no more tiny.
A world so happy, and so much to gain.
Wider it is, wondrous and shiny.

For you my love, thy opened my eyes.
For you my love, thy been so kind and nice.
I open my heart, so no more I hate.
With your hands, do write write my fate.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Pain , Separation And Pain Again

Youbdig throught the tunnels, you find the pot of gold and taking it back to the world is something everyone dreams of. People think that the path towards finding the pot of gold is the hardest of all and often ignore the way back. Well, the journey doesn't just mean till you find the gold. It indeed is hard, but the harder part is yet to come.

The world is cruel, or we may call it the test of what is about to come next. It gets tough, then a bit more tougher, but the I my thing that would get you moving forward is the end. And the end is when you utilize the fold for something meaningful. My friends, I found it. I'm on the verge of coming out, but the gold isn't in my hands.